I Am Their Father: My Star Wars Journey
I bounced out of the movie theater giddy, pretending the cheap marquee’s neon lights were lasers from a stormtrooper’s blaster. My imaginary light saber vibrated confidently as I stared down a Sith Lord. Stepping inside the family car felt like entering the cockpit of an X-Wing. No, this wasn’t 1977, when I was five years old. It was February 11, 2020 and I was 47. I’d finally watched The Rise of Skywalker.
I saw my first Star Wars film, eventually known as New Hope, at the drive-in during its original theatrical release. That night over forty years ago has remained etched in my brain like it was yesterday. My Dad tried to “beat traffic” out of the lot, leaving before the movie ended. I pleaded, “Dad, it’s not over yet!” My chubby face pressed against the foggy back window while the car sped off, as Leia put shiny medals around Luke and Han’s necks. A few years later, my seven year old jaw dropped as Vader revealed his big secret to Luke in The Empire Strikes Back. Spring of ’83, I visited the Sack Charles movie theater for a matinee ($2.25!) next door to Boston’s Mass General Hospital to see Return of the Jedi. A couple of friends and I had made the trek from the North End, an unchaperoned walk unheard of today for eleven year olds. A local building called the Hotel Madison had just been demolished by implosion (I’d witnessed in person). On the way home from seeing Jedi that day, we grabbed pieces of rubble as souvenirs.
What an exciting time, growing up as the original saga unfolded. I had all the action figures. I had tiny ceramic figurines. My favorite toy was my Millennium Falcon, so big I could barely hold it. I read every book I could find about the saga. Discovering New Hope was merely the fourth part of a larger story blew my mind. Lucas mapped out nine chapters?! I had Star Wars everything: clothes, bed sheets, Halloween costumes. Looking back now, it was a big reason I became a storyteller. And when Phantom Menace got released, I went to the enormous Chinese Theater in Hollywood for the first time, saving the ticket stub in my wallet for years until the ink disappeared. Rogue, Solo, Force Awakens, Last Jedi…seeing the Lucasfilm logo at each film’s opening exhilarated me. They make me feel like a kid again, full of anticipation for the Star Wars movies yet to be seen…with my sons.
My wife and I fostered two beautiful boys. To say it was a difficult process is an understatement. We fought hard to keep them. After more than three arduous years, court dates, social worker visits, and overall system hell, we finalized their adoptions in 2018. We believe we didn’t find them, they found us. They are now five years old, still too young to watch the movies. It is killing me to have to wait. They know all the characters. We read the books together, riveted by the stories. The Star Wars marketers know how to hook ’em young. We have children’s books focused solely on Chewbacca, like he’s the star of the show. Ditto for C-3PO and R2D2. My boys have a ton of the Star Wars Lego. They know the categories of droids, the names of all the battleships.
Raising kids can be suffocating. I’m a freelance artist always on the hunt for work. I have so little time to myself, especially now. After a long day of taking care of the little ones, ear-piercing tantrums, negotiations to pick up toys and bath time, I was able to sneak out to see a late showing of Rise of Skywalker nearly two months after it opened. When I sank into my seat, I took my first breath of the day, making it there one minute before showtime (after all the trailers). Phew! Once it began, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, leaving me thoroughly satisfied after Rey’s final words. This franchise means so much to me. And with the last chapter, Episode IX, in my rearview, it hit me: I have completed my Star Wars journey.
My wife and I still haven’t decided when to show our kids New Hope. We initially agreed on seven years old. Now I’m pushing for six. I saw it first at five, right? We’ll see. I cannot wait to see their faces glow as that first rebel ship bursts onto screen across the darkness, chased by an enormous Star Destroyer. Vader’s first entrance. And their recognition of the plot points they’ve already reenacted with their Lego. My Star Wars journey is over. Theirs…is just beginning.
